To love or not to love....?

Its getting colder day by day. Christmas is just around the corner. So is my b-day..
What would be better than a warm hug and cheerful smile at this time of the year? How come all i feel now is the coldness, inside out, both in heart and in mind?
I guess sometimes its so hard to love someone without being hurt...But, isnt love supposed to heal your pain?
Or, what i´m looking at is just the illusion of love? Sometimes, trying hard is not enough...sympathy is what matters...Selfishness, dont just blame it on me.
I couldnt help crying my eyes out today, feeling so lost and disappointed. Turned the TV on at maximum volume, held myself up and cried out loud. No one heard me, no one wanted to.
Just today, i told myself. It will stop tomorrow. The tears or the love or both...?

Blame it on the weather!

Finally winter has arrived...But sadly, not a good timing. Today i felt so down and needed something to cheer me up and bring me back to the normal track. Looking for some sunshine out of the window, all i saw was the cold wind and gloomy sky. Suddenly, I got this love-hate relationship with winter. Aizzz, blame it on the weather or else?
Sometimes, i feel it so hard to be a responsible person. I have never really got this feeling before, to start something from ground zero, to expect tons of unexpected problems, to do something without any hint of the ending. I am indeed not a risk-lover....
In hibernate status....for the time being....